WHY DO THY BULLY/ABUSE EACHOTHER?

BULLYING CAN BE CLASSIFIED IN TWO CATEGORIES:

 

 Direct bullying: 

 Direct bullying involves a great deal of physical abuse and aggression, such as shoving and poking, throwing things, slapping, choking, punching and kicking, beating, stabbing, pulling hair, scratching, biting, scraping, and pinching.

Indirect bullying: 

Indirect bullying which is called social aggressiveness, attempting to socially isolate the victim. This isolation is achieved through a wide variety of techniques, including spreading gossip, refusing to socialize with the victim, bullying other people who wish to socialize with the victim, and criticizing the victim's manner of dress, and other socially-significant markers this includes the victim's race, religion, disability, sex, or sexual preference, etc..

      an array of nonviolent behavior which can be considered indirect bullying, at least in some instances, such as name calling, the silent treatment, arguing others into submission, manipulation, false gossip, lies, false rumors, staring, giggling, and laughing at the victim. Saying certain words that will trigger a memory form a victim’s pasted event and mocking can be devastating for the victim.  Act Against Bullying, was set up in to help children who were victims of this type of bullying by researching and publishing coping skills.

OVERVIEW OF THE KIND OF ABUSE

     THE  OVER VIEW OF KINDS OF ABUSE:

  Overview of State Anti-Bullying Legislation and Other Related Laws, notes that, as of January2012, 48 U.S. states had anti-bullying laws. Though there is wide variation in their strength and focus. Sixteen states acknowledge that bullies often target their victims based on creed or religion, disability, gender or sex, nationality or national origin, race, and sexual orientation.  Each of those sixteen states has a certain wide array of additional notes, ranging from age and weight to socioeconomic status. Of the Thirty eight states that have laws encompassing electronic or cyber bullying activity. Thirty two states put such offenses under the broader category of bullying.

There are Three types of abuse : 

1.       Emotional:  

            Also referred to as mental abuse, it’s a form of abuse  displayed  by a person or persons subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, depression, or P.T.S.D, also known as ( post- traumatic stress Disorder).

            Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, family or domestic issues, bullying, and abuse in the workplace.

2.        Verbal: 

      

           Negative defining statements or words told to the person or about the person or by withholding any response defining a victim as non-existent. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize for his/her defining statements or words, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one.

     In schools a young person may indulge in verbal abuse or bullying to gain status as superior to the person or victim and to make friends with others who intern become abusers. Generally the bully knows no other way of making friends, i.e., using language that degrades another at the expense of someone else.  Verbal abuse is not limited, verbal abuse is found in bullying, family and or domestic relationships.

3.       Physical:  

       

             An act of another party involving contact intended to cause physical pain, or other physical bodily injuries.  In most cases, children are the victims of physical abuse, but adults can be the sufferers too. Physically abused children are at risk for future personal problems such as

aggressive behavior. The abused often becomes the abuser scenario will often come to pass and, or the adolescents are at a much greater risk for substance abuse. Often the symptoms of depression, emotional distress, and suicidal tendencies are also common features of people who have been physically abused. Not just children but adults with a history of physical abuse usually suffer from P.T.S.D also known as post traumatic stress disorder.   

WHAT A BULLY / AND BEHAVIORS

 BULLYING BEHAVIORS:

     Bullying is the use of coercion to abuse or intimidate others. The behavior involves  of verbal or physical power. Bullying can includes inappropriate verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of class, race, religion, gender, sexuality, appearance, behavior, or ability, or disability.  If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target".

     Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Some countries currently have no legal definition of bullying, while some U.S. states have laws against it. Bullying consists of several basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, physical, and cyber. Any type of bullying typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation.

     Bullying ranges from simple one on one bullying. To more aggressive bullying in which the bully may have one or more friends who may seem to be willing to assist the bully in his or her bullying activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.

      A bullying culture can develop in any context in which human beings interact with each other. This includes school, family, the workplace, home, and neighborhoods. In a 2012 study of male adolescent boys, the strongest predictor was the perception of whether the most influential in the males life would approve of the bullying behavior.

    Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.

bullying occurs when a person is:

    Exposed repeatedly overtime to negative actions on the part of one, Or more persons.  He says negative actions occur when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through verbal abuse or in other ways.

YOUR BASIC BULLY

90% of not just children but teenagers are bullied in school at some stage. 80% of bullying happens in recess or on the playground or during the walk to their next classes, bus or walk home. They do this in private but, most of the time in full view of others. They do this for several reasons.  

·         Aggressive children or Teenagers feel the need to dominate, run the school. For some odd reason they need to control situations. they might be part of what they call  a “ click”.

      For example do you remember the movie Grease and you had the pink ladies and the t-birds, well those were clicks. They were a group of friends that stuck together, treated people a certain way.  You had to be Rude enough to get in, crazy mean enough to people to stay in.

·          The most common reason why a person is bullying is to seek control and to dominate and this is due to uncontrollable personal issues. This person is not in control of something and seeks control so he or she steels it from others. If that makes any sense.  

      For example : mom and dad are having problems and the only way he can express his anger about it is to take out his inappropriate behaviors on others . I hope that made some kind of sense for you, although his actions are not excusable remember that. Your child’s safety does come first always, that is your first priority.

 WORK ON YOUR CHILD'S SELF- ESTEEM

1)      Don’t allow your child or children’s adolescents be encouraged by bully behavior.

2)       Don’t ignore your child or children’s feelings and hope that it goes away.  

3)       Don’t let this bully behavior effect, your child or children’s self-esteem, of 

        self-confidence, self-worth.

4)      Don't let your child or children fall victim to years of cruelty and harm that words, 

        name calling, or worse things bullies can/will do. 

5)       Bullies attack because of your child or children’s size, weight, skin color, skin blemishes, heritage, sexual orientation, gender, and it can affect their entire future. That is why working on their self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth is very important.  

I don't want you to get me wrong I am not telling you that it is in no way you child or children's fault for bullies targeting them. so lets get that straight. The reason why I suggest you work on there self-esteem is because it has a lot to do with HOW THEY HANDLE THE VERBAL ABUSE.  If someone has good self-esteem, self confidence, and self-worth. We, yes I say we because as one of the bullied, need to have a good self-confidence, self-esteem,self-worth about oneself. this gives you confidence in your everyday life about who, who, how you are.  

    A confident person can wipe off the harsh harmful words that are being launched in his or her direction. I will talk more about Self Confidence in more details in another post